Lost in the wilderness...

Eek, it has been week!

Last time I wrote anything here, I was bemoaning how much I dislike Fridays, and here we are again. I'm going to think positive this week though, because last time, it was as if I'd given myself permission to slacken off and although it wasn't a massive disaster, I definitely let go of the reins a bit.

This, coupled with the scales playing silly buggers meant that I really had no idea where I was weight-wise come Monday. I have been getting all sorts of silly readings whereby the scales seemed to be adding and losing pounds every five minutes. I am obviously going to have to invest in some new, more reliable ones. My hubby is rather overweight and I'm now beginning to suspect that he's been leaping on them and has destroyed the mechanism!!

In the mean time, I've taken some measurements and if I can't get the scales to say anything sensible, I'll need to start working from these instead. Clothes have certainly been more comfortable and some even look okay too. No reason to go shopping just yet...nothing is falling off me, but at least I don't feel quite so trussed up anymore.

Now fitting in a much more flattering manner is....

White, wide legged linen trousers, size 18 (yes, I've got two pairs of these as well as the brown ones!)
Bright orange cotton camisole, size 16
Purple ruffly cardigan, size 16
Purple earrings, orange necklace, orange bangle
Bare feet just now....will have to sort out shoes later.

Friday I'm in love? Not so much.

From a diet point of view, I don't much like Fridays. It's the start of the weekend and there's too much time and too much temptation between now and weigh-in day.

If the scale-reading was good on Monday morning, that high carries you through Tuesday and most of Wednesday. Thursday can sometimes be a little tough....it's the diet equivalent of "hump day" at work where you are half-way there. Friday feels like a long way away from the success of Monday and yet the last two days of the week are still stretching out before you. It's my "dip" day. If there's one time of the week when I'm likely to career wildly off-plan, it's today! So with that in mind, I've lined up eight million jobs to do which will hopefully keep me physically occupied and away from the fridge!

The next big thing for me to tackle is exercise. I'm not good at it. I don't really enjoy getting all hot and sweaty, I dislike swimming pools and the only activity that I really relish (oh well alright, there's two, but no, not that one) has had to be severely restricted due to a foot injury. Whereas I used to be able to walk five or six miles without thinking about it, the mile-and-a-bit walk to to school and back yesterday had me popping ibuprofen again. Someone suggested dancing as a possible alternative, but given that I have all the natural rhythm of a rhino in a plastercast I think that's probably a no. It looks like I'm going to have to stick to cycling nowhere for a bit!

Today I'm wearing:

White linen trousers, size 18.
White baggy blouse, size 18.
Beige cardian, size 14
Beige flatties
Silver star earrings, silver beaded necklace, chunky silver ring, selection of bangles.
Diesel Fuel for Life perfume

Best days of their lives

Back to school today. Back to school for the older two anyway, while my baby started for the first time ever. They were up at O'Dark-Thirty, full of beans (or springs maybe?), jumping around and raucous and quite frankly I was glad to be shot of them. Kid-the-youngest didn't go in until later and I had to put up with lots of "Is it time to go yet?", "When do we leave?", "Can we go now?" and "I want to go NOWWWWWW" until finally it was time to go. There was a tiny, minor wobble at the thought of some of the bigger boys and girls, but then she saw her friend from playgroup and I was unceremoniously dumped in favour of finding the best seat in the classroom.

Little one came home full of smiles and clutching two stickers. One was for doing a lovely picture of her recent camping trip and the other was for "being quiet". We'll return that one to its rightful owner in the morning because it can't possibly have been given to one of my children!

The other two came back with mixed reviews. Kid in the middle has declared her new teacher to be "mean", while at the same time telling me of the fantastic, exciting game that they played all day. Big kid had lots to say about his lunch, which was obviously the highlight of the day.

And talking of lunch.....how many servings are you supposed to get out of a 300g bag of Quorn mince? I used two last night to make tacos and burritos for supper for five. One kidlet and I had leftovers for lunch, and then I made a tomato sauce for what was left to eat with spaghetti tonight, again for five. There's still enough for a leftover lunch for two tomorrow - it's like the magic porridge pot!!

(And I had to laugh at Kid the eldest who was poking around his Quorn bolognaise....."Are there any mushrooms in this?" he asked suspiciously. "No," says I, thinking "If only you knew"!

Today's wardrobe choices:

Beige/brown/cream linen A-line skirt (leafy pattern), size 16.

Cream and silver smock top, size 16

Longline beige floppy-sleeved cardigan, size 14

Cream and beige flatties

Full face of make up with which to face the yummy mummies at the school gate

Asda cameo earrings

Avon big chunky brown and gold glass ring

Chocolate brown leather handbag, far too expensive but practically strokable.

Crabs, Crocs and Very Strange Cats....

What to do for the last weekend of the summer holidays? Go to the cinema perhaps? (Nah - last time we did that I ended up bleeding at the bottom of an escalator.) Trip to the swimming pool? Nope. There's little I hate more than floating around in a big bucket of germ soup. Walk to the park? Not very adventurous. I know....let's go camping! We can spend half of Friday driving to the campsite and pitching the tent, three days cowering from the rain and getting everything we own filthy dirty before heading home and leaving ourselves barely 48 hours to get three kids ready to start school again. Brilliant plan.

Actually, it was. The kids had a ball. Yes, it rained, but not all the time. And yes, every single scrap of clothing got soaked and steeped in mud. But oh, the bliss of of no television, no laptops, no DS lites beeping. The children played in the loch all day until it got too dark and/or midgy to see. There were no complaints about tops not matching trousers (they were too thankful that there was a top dry enough to wear), and even Kid-with-his-faddy-head-on forgot to check for mushrooms in his dinner he was so hungry after all that fresh air.

Sartorially, it was a bit of a disaster. I took my comfiest slouchy jeans and some of those brown linen trousers, a selection of vest tops, little cardigans and my crocs. Why I chose to wear rubber shoes full of holes and leave my wellies behind I'll never know. I ended up having to roll all my trousers up to avoid wet flapping going on round my ankles.

Kid in the middle did take her wellies, but she still managed to get every pair of trousers soaked while fishing for crabs. I kept telling myself that this was what childhood should be like, while trying to banish thoughts of mildew from my suddenly middle-aged-grumpy-old-woman brain. But the delight on her face when she caught the biggest one seen all day was worth it. I think.

As for very strange cats, well, we haven't had a cat for a while now. Cat 1 died, and Cat 2 went a bit mental after her sister was gone. The kids created their very own replacement with bits of rock, seaweed and some blue string. It stood guard outside our tent for three days until I dismantled it - silly to say, but I almost felt quite sad to say goodbye to that cat.

So that's the crocs/crabs/cats. What about the diet? Well, it went okay. I've discovered that there are low fat versions of things that you shouldn't touch with a barge pole. Have one proper sausage instead of two "low fat" sausages. And don't buy packet rice. (This was an unplanned purchase - the camp shop only sold packets of flavoured rice. Next time, we'll eat our curry with bread instead!)

Of course, the most important thing is what the scales tell me. We were knee deep in campsite on Monday morning, so no opportunity to weigh myself until Tuesday. And yay! I've lost another 4.5lbs this week. Which is pretty good going all things considered. So now I really am a happy camper!!

For Bainsy

After hobbling around yesterday and complaining like mad every time I moved, I am today resolved to stop whinging. A dear friend tried to take his life yesterday, a friend whose quality of life has been drastically reduced after brain surgery left him without the ability to swallow. I am busy praying for him and for his wife and family and at the same time eternally thankful for the good health that I and my family take for granted sometimes. If anything, it strengthens my resolve to get fitter and healthier for we never know when we might need to call on our reserves.

Escalator Surfing; Extreme Parenting For Beginners

It seems having a sore arse from unusual exercise bike activity wasn't enough for me. Oh no. I like to take things to the max. Do the job properly. If you're going to hurt yourself, really hurt yourself.

Yesterday afternoon, I took the kids to the cinema for a treat. All of a sudden on the way in, for no apparent reason that I can see, Kid-the-youngest starts screaming that she's afraid of escalators. This is news to me, and by the time I've realised that she's not coming with us, I'm half way up the damn thing and had to clamber down the up escalator to reach her. We nearly missed the film because of the histrionics.

Anyway, film watched, declared a success all round and it's time to go back down. I know this is going to be tricky so I ask Kid Number 1 and Kid-in-the-Middle to go down first so that I can concentrate on coaxing The Reluctant One onto it. Kid-in-the-Middle leaps on while Big Brother announces that he's suddenly afraid of them too. I end up yelling at him to just please do as he's told because now his sister is alone in a sea of milling people at the bottom!

Finally, I try to get Miss Panickypants on and down. I can't carry her because my back isn't up to it, but I talk, calmly and get her to hold my hand, take a step onto the escalator with me and we're off. Except we're not because she's jumped back off it again while clinging on to my trousers. I lose one shoe, and the leg that isn't still at the top of the escalator is now being repeatedly battered by the moving metal stair. Little Miss Frenzy is having a full blown panic attack at the thought of being left alone and grabs my hair. I'm still trying to haul myself up the down stairs without dragging her down with me, when someone asks me if I'm alright. No hand to grab, just asks me if I'm ok and steps over me. Sure, I'm fine. One leg is bleeding, the other feels like it has been wrenched out of place, I have a lump of hair missing, one bare foot and a screaming child. No problem at all matey. And I still had to get said banshee down the bloody escalator.

So now, as well as having a bum that feels like someones been making me sit on red hot pokers, I also have a lovely three-lane gash down one leg, while the other, already knee-creakingly dodgy leg feels like it could fall off any second. My left tit is black and red with bruising - that's going to look attractive when it turns yellow and green - and it seems that I might have been walloped one in the jaw by Princess Panic.

All in all, kids are fine, I will be too, and I've been consoling myself with other people's misfortune by googling Escalator Surfing on YouTube. Schadenfraude is a wonderful thing. Lesson to be learned from all this? The ratio of 1:3 where 1 is the adult and 3 is the number of children is a good indicator that STAYING HOME is the preferred choice of activity.

Today I'm wearing:

Slouchy jeans that are actually just a bit too big, size 18

Cream and silver smock top, size 16

Cream flouncy cardigan, size 12 (I've had it years and it's not really a size 12 anymore. Perhaps it will shrink back with me?)

Leather beaded flipflops

Pearl and shell rope twist from Avon, Cream and pink cameo earrings from asda, brass bangles from market stall somewhere.

Lippy and mascara and sunscreen.

I'm now down one pair of brown linen trousers, unless I can convert them to 3/4 length trouser. If I'm to believe everything that Trinny and her pal say, this would be a bad idea. Linen dusters anyone?

The Elephant in the Room

Well, not so much an elephant, more an exercise bike. But lately I've been pretending not to notice its reproachful stares so it might as well be an elephant. Not today however. Today I leapt up onto it (okay, okay - it was more tentative heaving than leaping but still, you have to start somewhere), and cycled for 31.5 minutes, racking up 11K and leaving me 117 calories better off than when I started. It's all good. Apart from the nasty clicking noise that my knee is now making. I thought this getting fit and healthy kick was going to leave me, well, fit and healthy; not creaking and sore!

Oh, and now that I'm duly showered and recovered, I'm wearing:

Brown linen trousers (not the same pair - I own three the same. This is what happens when you get fat. You find something that looks okayish and buy three of them to save thinking too hard) Size 18. Definitely more comfortable around the waist.
Pale green, coffee brown, cream and pink blouse with a 1950s curtain pattern Size 16
Khaki crocs
Some really rather stunning jewellery from Avon but which I could easily pretend was from Pilgrim.

Nothing tastes as good as success

So, today was weigh-in day. I might not have started my diet exactly a week ago, but for the sake of tidiness, Monday is the day I'm officially to be found with my fingers crossed as I delicately deposit myself on the scales and pray for a kind reading. And today, my lovely, lovely scales told me that I was precisely 8lbs lighter than I had been a week ago. Eight pounds!! 8.0lbs. I still can't quite believe it and I just hope that I don't wake up tomorrow, find out it's Monday all over again and I've actually gained 8lbs.

Needless to say, I'm delighted with this result, but of course, it's only the first 8lbs from a total of more than 60 that I need to lose. That posh size 8 dress in my wardrobe still aint fitting! Still, it's a good start and has given me just the impetus I need to carry on. I have also put £8 in a jar. That dress needs new shoes :-)

Continuing with the positive note...it finally stopped raining long enough for my tent to dry out. My lovely new Iowa is packed back in its bag ready to be dragged out again at the weekend. I must start work on a menu-plan for the camping trip that will keep the scales happy next Monday and not leave me starving. All to be cooked in one pot. Mmmmmmm.

Today I'm wearing:

Wide legged jeans, size 16
Burnt orange vest top size 16
Purple fluffy cardigan size 16
Purple and silver dangly earrings, large orange glass pendant, chunky copper bangle
Brown high heeled leather ankle boots.
Lippy, mascara and some rather devine face illuminator stuff from Virgin Vie.

13 Stone 8.75lbs. (-8lbs)

Like waiting for Christmas

I'm such a saddo. I woke up this morning all excited and for a minute or two, couldn't work out why. And then I realised....one more day till the end of the first week of my diet. One more day to get the official reading on how much I've lost this week. So of course, I hopped on the scales to see what they say today, one day before the official weigh-in day. I really wish I hadn't because tomorrow is now bound to be a disappointment; either I'll be the same as today, which is good, but not that exciting, or I'll have gained three pounds because the scales are crap. It's tempting to eat nothing all day to try and make sure that the scales give me a good result tomorrow but I won't because that way madness lies.


On the plus side, the sun has returned to grace us. If it would just stay like this, I could take my tent down from the garden ready to go camping proper at the weekend.


Must work out how to do "diet" camping food. I'm not sure sausages and beans for every meal is in the plan! In fact the list of things I "must do" today would fill several blogs and kill anyone reading from instant boredom.

Oh, and today I'm wearing:

Housework clothes. There's bathrooms to be scrubbed and sartorial elegance isn't really required. Later, if the sun stays sunny and the clouds stay away, I have a blue/green/lime/white floral A-line skirt (18) to wear with a white vest top, green cardigan and flipflops. Otherwise, jeans and a jumper.

Too late. That's rain I can hear. I'm sure I don't deserve this!!

It's raining, it's pouring

And man, do I feel like snoring. This is fire on, duvet wrapped round your shoulders, Cary Grant or Doris Day in Full Technicolor weather. Not drag three kidlets out to Chavsda weather.

So far, I've made mushroom soup, processed two loads of laundry and rustled up lunch. I'm shattered. I have three half-read books on the go and a comfy chair calling my name. Unfortunately, kid in the middle has a party to go to on Monday and we have no pressie to take.

I ate a huuuuuuuuge breakfast this morning; three grilled tomatoes, a bucket of mushrooms, slice of toast and two grilled turkey rashers. I've just consumed an equally massive lunch of salad, beef, bread roll and diet yoghurt. Why am I dreaming of shortbread?

It has been one week since I last had an alcoholic drink. Stupidly, I'm almost afraid to have one now, in case I suddenly DID become an alcoholic and can't stop at one. Is that mad? Probably. I guess I just have to "think of all the calories"!!

Today I'm wearing:

Wide legged blue jeans - size 16. Comfier than the last time I wore them or is that just wishful thinking?
Bright orange "ethnic" blouse.
Khaki crocs
jangly clangy bangles
Big chunky gold beads
Tiger's eye earrings
No make up yet, but I'm planning a face mask after I've done the next lot of ironing so when my skin goes all red I'll no doubt need the full face.

Good start, added aggro.

I know I'm not meant to do this, but I stand on the scales every morning. I suppose the reason you're not supposed to is because your weight fluctuates from day to day, and by weighing yourself only weekly, you catch the overall trend rather than every blip, dip, bump and lump. I only write down the weekly weigh-ins, but I'm too compulsive and nosy to go a whole week without weighing myself. And hey, sometimes it brings rewards too. After three days of reading a very depressing "14 stone 2.75lbs" on the display of my scales, today, after not quite a week of no alcohol, and only two full days of proper dieting, it tells me that I'm down to 13 stone 9.75lbs. That's half a stone. It might be half a stone of water but I don't care.

Mum rang. I am concerned that she thinks me giving up work means I can spend every last minute with her. I would ignore the phone, but since we got the (totally tacky but I love it) Mickey Mouse phone, the kids have all started racing towards it as soon as the first "ting" rings out. It may get better once school starts again, but then she'll simply phone just before they leave. I'm going to have to start inventing friends and activities if I want to avoid her! Jeeze, the whole point of giving up work was to reduce the stress in my life, not simply change it.

Today I'm wearing.....

The same as yesterday only with clean undies and a clean top. Oh and a bit of makeup. Not much because I was interrupted by my daughter who had locked herself out of the house and I've never quite made it back upstairs. Actually, must go and investigate that funny beeping noise.

4.20pm and we're back from my mother's house. How's the diet going? Would I like some banana cake? A biscuit? Some shortbread. At least take the recipe. Anything at all? What is wrong with this woman? I lasted all of an hour before I had to make my excuses and leave.

So, this is day two of the big diet

Not a very tidy place to start. I prefer things to be more orderly than that, but if I wait until it's a good time to diet, I may die first. And I don't want that.

It's three years ago yesterday that my dad died. And it was the not really coping very well with that situation that has caused me to pile on the pounds. There was the whole guilt thing because I was on holiday in America when he had his first heart attack and didn't go home. Then there was the anger that nobody told me to go home. In fact they told me to stay put. And then there was the deep, deep sadness that I never got to see him again. Coupled with the horrifying realisation that much as I love my mother, I don't much like her, and dad and his expansive personality had managed to hide this fact from me for years. It hasn't been the best three years of my life. But at some point, things have to get better. And the only person who can make them better is me. So it's time to dig deep and find the better me. The me that isn't fat, verging on alcoholism and depressed. We (that's a royal we - I don't really hear the voices) want to see the happy, fun-lovin', up-for-anything me that is buried somewhere deep inside this mass of crap.

Do diet blogs usually consist of a list of food consumed? I don't think I'm going to do that. I can make myself feel guilty elsewhere. However, I think I'm going to do a daily list of what I'm wearing....let's see if it gets more glam as time goes on!!

Today....

Brown linen trews....size 18
White lacy vest top....size 16
Pink cotton cardigan....size 16
Beads, bangles and earrings .....any size you like. Aint jewellery great?
Brown leather wedge sandals - size 7
No makeup. This was a slob around the house kind of a day. I did however shave my legs and exfoliate my hands in an endeavour to look a bit less like a washerwoman.

Tis only two weeks till the kidlets go back to school. Two weeks till we have to have some kind of routine again. Will it be the making of me? Or send me loopy all over again? I wonder.