So, this is day two of the big diet

Not a very tidy place to start. I prefer things to be more orderly than that, but if I wait until it's a good time to diet, I may die first. And I don't want that.

It's three years ago yesterday that my dad died. And it was the not really coping very well with that situation that has caused me to pile on the pounds. There was the whole guilt thing because I was on holiday in America when he had his first heart attack and didn't go home. Then there was the anger that nobody told me to go home. In fact they told me to stay put. And then there was the deep, deep sadness that I never got to see him again. Coupled with the horrifying realisation that much as I love my mother, I don't much like her, and dad and his expansive personality had managed to hide this fact from me for years. It hasn't been the best three years of my life. But at some point, things have to get better. And the only person who can make them better is me. So it's time to dig deep and find the better me. The me that isn't fat, verging on alcoholism and depressed. We (that's a royal we - I don't really hear the voices) want to see the happy, fun-lovin', up-for-anything me that is buried somewhere deep inside this mass of crap.

Do diet blogs usually consist of a list of food consumed? I don't think I'm going to do that. I can make myself feel guilty elsewhere. However, I think I'm going to do a daily list of what I'm wearing....let's see if it gets more glam as time goes on!!

Today....

Brown linen trews....size 18
White lacy vest top....size 16
Pink cotton cardigan....size 16
Beads, bangles and earrings .....any size you like. Aint jewellery great?
Brown leather wedge sandals - size 7
No makeup. This was a slob around the house kind of a day. I did however shave my legs and exfoliate my hands in an endeavour to look a bit less like a washerwoman.

Tis only two weeks till the kidlets go back to school. Two weeks till we have to have some kind of routine again. Will it be the making of me? Or send me loopy all over again? I wonder.